An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

Discussion in 'Whatever' started by toothaction, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "First time I shroomed was to her set in Coachella."
     
  2. SaintOfSpinners

    SaintOfSpinners Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "A low to moderate chance of being murdered is fine with me."

    In regards to herping in Joshua Tree with a possible serial killer on the loose.
     
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  3. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper S7 Royalty

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I caught the reptile bug recently so I’d take the chance to go herping. :lol:

    “you’re sterile now dude”
    - anti-vax guy on Facebook insisting that the “population control vaccine” made me sterile.
     
  4. Waterbear

    Waterbear Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    My Uncle - Because of the new mandate I'm gonna get fired if I don't get vaccinated but fuck them I still won't do it!

    Me - Why not? You're overweight. You have high blood pressure. You smoke like you're a fucking ham and you drink like a sailor. Covid is gonna cook you like a sunlight cooks vampires.

    Uncle - I don't trust anything that's free so I'll take my chances.

    Me - The fuck? I've seen you at Costco. You scarf down free samples without even letting those old ladies tell you what they are. You ate a dog treat by accident twice. You sign up for every contest and giveaway and free sample you can get your hands on. You had your identity stolen twice. Now you have a problem with free?

    Uncle - Okay okay but I heard the vaccine can make you sterile.

    Me - That is totally not true at all and you're 63 fucking years old. The last time you thought you were going to have sex it turned out to be with a prostitute who was actually an undercover cop. The only way you'll ever reproduce is if an alien infects you and a baby alien bursts out of your fucking chest.

    Uncle - Respect your elders!

    Me - Be less stupid!
     
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  5. Mr. Humphreys

    Mr. Humphreys Mini Boss

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    :lol::lol::lol:
    That's hilarious! :)
     
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  6. jl

    jl Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    no one has the chance to pick its family, but boy, you have been badly served I would say :D
     
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  7. Brooklyn_Vinyl

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I don’t think I’m an introvert, I just don’t like most people.
     
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  8. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Waitress- How so you want that steak cooked?

    Food ruiner- Well done.
     
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  9. Roger

    Roger Vintage

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Did they also ask for ketchup?
     
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  10. Roger

    Roger Vintage

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Another one today, different person:

    "Do people still use skullbrain?"
     
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  11. Brooklyn_Vinyl

    Brooklyn_Vinyl Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    No, don't bother going there, it's a desert.
     
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  12. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper S7 Royalty

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    About a week ago on Facebook I encountered a mom of three that thought bacteria in poop morphs into parasites. I told her that spontaneous generation doesn’t happen. She asked me if I had done research.

    Every day I lose my will to live on this planet, take me away aliens
     
  13. Roger

    Roger Vintage

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    If you take a dirty shirt and throw it into a grain bin, at least six rats will be generated from it. Everybody knows this.
     
  14. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "I've been hitting the Zen hard lately."
     
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  15. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I stopped listening after that.
     
  16. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Chat box, 3 minutes ago: "the shasta orbs aren't aliens though. they have more to do with the sasquatch"
     
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  17. Roger

    Roger Vintage

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "Skullbrain? That place scares me."
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2022
  18. Mr Fox

    Mr Fox Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "Not too hot oat milk Babychino"
     
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  19. jl

    jl Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Babychino? What is that??
     
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  20. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper S7 Royalty

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Oat milk is cloudy oat water and nobody can convince me otherwise
     
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  21. Mr Fox

    Mr Fox Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Well, it was said by a mother, to a barrista, at a coffee bar, whilst I was waiting to collect my coffee.

    I believe she thought this mini oak milk froth would soothe the little precious she spawned and didn't appear to have ever heard the word 'No' in it's life. Personally, I'd have thought a muzzle and being strapped into a pushchair may have been a quicker remedy to the little toads rampage.
     
  22. Mr Fox

    Mr Fox Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Can't say Maddie, never tried it, so I'll take your word for it. However, it does feel akin to drinking the water you would get from making bad porridge.

    I also get a wry smile from almond milk, and similar nut based 'milks'; the thought of a bunch of factory workers, sitting in a dark room, trying to milk a nut, does make the idiot in me chuckle...
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2022
  23. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    i refer to anything that doesn’t come from a nursing mammals breast as a “juice”.

    oat juice nut juice etc.

    pulverizing something adding water and chemicals for taste does not make something milk.
     
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  24. poysntixels

    poysntixels Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Udderly ridiculous.
     
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  25. Roger

    Roger Vintage

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    The core issue with plant-based milks is that there is no substitute for real animal fat. They will lighten the flavor of the tea or coffee, but the sensation of those delicious milkfat molecules rolling around on your taste buds will always be missing.
     
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