An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

Discussion in 'Whatever' started by toothaction, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I forgot about those. Haha.
     
  2. jojo the dog faced boy

    jojo the dog faced boy Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "This is not my zoo. And those are not my monkeys." - said by my sister n law

    My daughter had a group of friends over at our house to celebrate her 12th birthday.
    Sugar highs were experienced. Although to be honest, one of the monkeys was her son.
     
  3. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "I wonder if these potatoes were the potatoes I was thinking of."
     
  4. SaintOfSpinners

    SaintOfSpinners Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "How did you know I was lost."



    -Aren't we all?
     
  5. Dean

    Dean Prototype

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "We all need to work together to save the Queen Bee of the World. Eat peanut butter and go to Hell."

    Disclosure: I work in a psychiatric hospital.
     
  6. Waterbear

    Waterbear Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

    Haha nice one!

    "Why do they call all these toys soft vinyl when they are so damn hard...?"
     
  7. Yuck!!!

    Yuck!!! Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Lol, thats some solid word salad. I worked at a group home for many years that was mostly guys with schizophrenia stepping down from state hospital, met a few whose word salad would be really fun like that on the right day.
     
  8. Lixx

    Lixx Mr. Grumpy™

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Same here worked in a group home from 1991-1994, very stressful time. At times I thought I was going mental!
     
  9. boon velvet

    boon velvet Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I'm just wondering how long it's going to be before I'm actually in one.

    The sentence :
    "Nicholas Cage is literally the Jimmy Stewart of today."
     
  10. Lixx

    Lixx Mr. Grumpy™

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Get a call last night with my university's number coming up. They hung up just as I answered. "Oh my is there a problem with my refund? Do i owe them money, why are they calling me at 8:15 at night?" I think. Nope upon calling back I get this:

    Stoner guy: "Oh how were you able to call us? This is a pledge drive dude, that's why we called. Some alumni guy is kicking us a $10,000 donation if we can get 216 students to pledge money of $25 or more"

    Bonus catch: if you donate money you're eligible for a drawing of a $25 Campus Cash card (which can only be spent at the school bookstore! yeah)

    Is he serious? Really this school just had $30 million given to them by the owner of the Bruins, and charges us exorbitant fees, tuition, and holds our state aid hostage till pretty much the end of the semester. Then all semester sends you emails threatening to take it away unless you can prove you're taking 12 credits towards an actual major. Like we don't have enough to worry about all semester without knowing whether we will owe you thousands at the end! And Ummm..... Isn't that your job to find out that stuff? Hell no I'm not giving you a fucking cent!
     
  11. living dead

    living dead Prototype

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    co-worker: "I like your shirt, is that a car? . . . Oh and a monkey"

    I'm wearing a Star Wars shirt with Luke in his Landspeeder and Chewbacca on the side.
     
  12. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

    You should have made loud Wookie noises, ripped her arms off and beat her with them.
     
  13. BISCUIT_POWER

    BISCUIT_POWER Fresh Meat

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    my co-worker asked me 2 questions back to back the other day
    Co-worker: "are you polish?"
    Me: No
    Co-worker:"Browns or the Bears"

    I was so chocked by that follow up question that I just didn't say anything
     
  14. Waterbear

    Waterbear Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "My fiance used his new 3D printer to print another 3D printer and I think it's one of the seven signs of the apocalypse."
     
  15. Lalo

    Lalo Mini Boss

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    oi! i'm bri-ish - 1st grader at my school.
     
  16. SaintOfSpinners

    SaintOfSpinners Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "Japan is such a land locked country."
     
  17. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "So all of the sudden we're sitting in his movie room where he has 30 aluminum Cobras that he owns personally."
     
  18. topher

    topher Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Me: "Did you hold your farts until after swim practice geeze"
    11 yo son: "That's how life works dad"

    :lol:
     
  19. boon velvet

    boon velvet Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "It is said that if a blood sacrifice is made at the proper time, with the proper ceremonies, when the moon and the stars are right, the gods grant a boon - a boon of eternal youth."
     
  20. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "This protein shake is gay."
     
  21. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper S7 Royalty

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "Vegans can't eat tomatoes." - my aunt, who loves to argue about shit she knows nothing about
     
  22. Waterbear

    Waterbear Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    She must be talking about beefsteak tomatoes...
     
  23. Dean

    Dean Prototype

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Her, in all seriousness: "Dean, was it Joseph Smith who was crucified on a cross?"

    Me: "No, that guy was shot by a vigilante mob. You're probably thinking of Jesus of Nazareth."

    Her: "Oh that's right. OK, thank you Dean!"
     
  24. BrickBat

    BrickBat Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Discussing what star wars movies to see before seeing the force awakens,

    Me: "You only need to see the original trilogy"
    Him: "Oh yeah, the black and white ones"
     
  25. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    @Dean - The fuck?
     

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