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Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
http://skullbrain.org/legacy/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=31111		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  missy [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:22 am ]
Post subject:  Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
Hey, Question-

I've got a wedding to go to in Sept. Clearly, this is a gift-giving situation.

However, It just occurred to me that the (girl/girl) couple is also hosting a shower this weekend as well, and both will be attending.

In my (limited) bridal shower experience, you get the bride some things for the wedding or for the honeymoon. The groom is not there & its generally a "girl's party"-Skylar is also invited, so its already not a traditional shower & I'm just trying to make sure I gift appropriately.

Since both partners will be there (its basically a party, more than a shower) do I get a gift for both the shower and the wedding?
Author:  keiboba [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
Hmmmm, never had this one but my thought would be small gifts for the shower and bigger gift for the wedding.
Author:  Anti Social Andy [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
My immediate thought was so politically incorrect I self-censored! . . . :D
Author:  uberboy [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
if they are like the pre-wedding lesbian events I have attended, a consumable gift is best for the shower. Nice champagne and some expensive cookies. i don't think my sister and her wife had a shower though. They had more of a group bachelorette party, where people went out drinking, bowling, etc.
i was a bridesmaid in my sister's ceremony. no i didn't wear a dress.
Author:  atease [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
I'd agree with uberboy on that. something nice for both of them to enjoy for the shower, then money or something for the wedding.

i stopped buying gifts for weddings a long time ago. I'm not buying people a $200 blender or something that is just going to gather dust. Unless they specifically tell me they want something on the registry list, I leave that stuff to the family to sort out.
Author:  toybotstudios [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
uberboy wrote:
i was a bridesmaid in my sister's ceremony. no i didn't wear a dress.


let's see pictures. i think you would look good in a dress.

I like Steve's idea for booze for the shower and Ed's idea for money for the wedding.
Author:  VELOCITRON [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
Man, you guys in the US have it lucky. In Japan you've gotta pony up at least $300 cash money for a wedding or you look like a total shmuck (as in it'd be like not giving your kids presents on Christmas in the US). But that kind of gift giving culture makes you really appreciate the occasions when you just have to pick up some nice comestibles or a gift card or whatever.
Author:  pickleloaf [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 12:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
yes if you are invited to a shower and a wedding, traditionally you would buy a gift for both

if the shower has no theme, a gift like they mentioned would work or something off the registry
Author:  Locomoco [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
CASH for both occasions
Author:  audiodifficulties [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
I hate social constructs.
Author:  Kevlo9 [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
I would get them a small joint gift for the shower and a larger gift for the wedding.
Author:  Punkin Donuts [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
I'll second the cash idea. You can never go wrong (or possibly offend anyone) with money. I have a feeling this will be on my horizon soon enough for my sister and her partner, and cash is definitely going to be the gift(s) of choice.
Author:  missy [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
man! who knew so many of you had lesbian sisters!

Thanks for the advice guys. I hate to give cash (seems impersonal) but I can see how its helpful when planning a wedding.
Author:  vinylhammer [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 3:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
What the fucks a wedding shower????


For pressies, i'd go for expensive booze for wedding shower???, And i'd go for a nice piece of Italian glassware, a centre piece. The ladies love Italian glassware at weddings.
Author:  bunnyboy [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 4:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
I'd go with a trumpet and some neat bookmarks.
Author:  pickleloaf [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
missy wrote:
man! who knew so many of you had lesbian sisters!

Thanks for the advice guys. I hate to give cash (seems impersonal) but I can see how its helpful when planning a wedding.


some of the best gifts we got were gift cards!
Author:  Locomoco [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
Gift cards are nice, but with the way things are these days, I think cash is preferable to cards since retail chains have been going belly up.
Author:  JORDAN23 [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
missy wrote:
I hate to give cash (seems impersonal) but I can see how its helpful when planning a wedding.


As a compromise...I would find out if they are traveling international for their honeymoon....then I would get them currency for that destination. So it's cash but it has meaning.
Author:  audiodifficulties [ Wed Jul 29, 2009 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
Also, unless you live in a state with good consumer protection, many gift cards charge a monthly fee with lack of use, or may also expire.
Sucks.

Locomoco wrote:
Gift cards are nice, but with the way things are these days, I think cash is preferable to cards since retail chains have been going belly up.
Author:  scottygee [ Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
If they drink, Champagne is always a nice gift. Get a couple of nice crystal flutes and a killer bottle of bubbly to fill them with. They can keep the glasses forever (or until they break them, whichever comes first)...
Disclaimer: I am a wino and work in the business, so I have a slight bias...
Author:  BloodDrinker6969 [ Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
I think if you CAN cook, it might be nice. My wife makes stuff for people all the time as gifts, as long as it shows you put some work in it, and didn't just use some box-mix-insta-crap, it can be really nice. But I think food/drinks are my personal favorite gifts whether they were bought or made.

Go food for the party, some cash for the wedding, but draw silly faces/costumes on the Presidents. That's where I'd go with it.
Author:  666doll [ Thu Jul 30, 2009 9:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
The same thing you give straight couples. A hearty hand shake of good luck with one hand and with the other, a business card of a good divorce attorney.
Author:  Punkin Donuts [ Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
666doll wrote:
The same thing you give straight couples. A hearty hand shake of good luck with one hand and with the other, a business card of a good divorce attorney.


Haha, ouch. I love a cynic. :)
Author:  Sappy Saps [ Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Social Graces question-same sex wedding gifts
JORDAN23 wrote:
missy wrote:
I hate to give cash (seems impersonal) but I can see how its helpful when planning a wedding.


As a compromise...I would find out if they are traveling international for their honeymoon....then I would get them currency for that destination. So it's cash but it has meaning.


That's a clever idea! I will have to keep that one in mind for the future.
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