toothaction

"I like my coffee like I like my outer space. Black and infinite." - Capitan Peligro

"I have a secret plan to save humanity, and it starts in Oklahoma."

Long live the Big Bad Doo Doo Daddy! May his reign last a thousand years!

LIVE FAST! LOVE HARD! DIE WITH YOUR MASK ON!

Their heads are green, and their hands are blue... And they went to sea in a Sieve.

Space Patrol, it's out there. I'd better get my pants back on, my mom is coming over.

"13 is an unlucky number. If 13's unlucky, then so should the letter B, be, cause B looks like a scrunched together 13." - Mitch Hedberg

You don’t have hands. You have iron paws.

HEEL, SUPERDOGS!

The nice thing about tiny violins is that they're easy to store.

"... I'm not impressed w/ megacorps continuing to spend millions to sell us fantasy allegories of 'resistance' ..." - A Wise Man

THE HIGHEST ACCOMPLISHMENT IS TO MAKE ONESELF INTO A LIVING WEAPON.

“Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally.”

"ALI KAH BABLOO NE PAPH EN YAH!"

I discovered ... that once having given a pig an enema there is no turning back, no chance of resuming one of life's more stereotyped roles.

"ALLA KA TABU NEE PAPH EN YAL!"

"I don't know that I brood. I just occasionally take time out to silently consider the specific ways in which others have wronged me.” - R A

Remember the start of 2001? Bunch of monkeys collecting bones. What‘s that got to do with space? They don‘t even have lasers! Cut that shit.

[literally boobs in the face]

"A Hong Kong taxi driver's life horribly falls apart after accidentally hitting a sorcerer with his cab."

Put the lime in the coconut? Sound advice.

"Just remember one thing. You don't ride us... we ride you." —Crasher

Giggle all you want to! Giggle! Giggle, dirty little man. You always giggle falsely! You don't have a decent giggle in you.

When it passes 48 years, it tastes good and there is an antique atmosphere!

I met her when I was judging a swimsuit parade... When our eyes met, it was like the noise glass makes when you write on it with a felt pen.