So, despite fielding a team that included some actual wild animals (a baby gorilla called 'Looney' and a giraffe called 'Crouch') and playing at least as well as, er, Japan, England crashed ignominously out of the World Cup last night. And the question on everyones lips this morning was: "What is wrong with English people's knees?" Well, doctors call it 'Exploding Knee Syndrome', or 'the EKS factor'. Less than a week after Owen's knee exploded mid-dribble, last night Beckham's went the same way, leaving him to watch the rest of the game from the touchline, one of his children strapped to his leg, and sobbing like a gurl for all the world to see. Asked about this, England team coach Sven 'Roky' Erickson said: "Hurdy hurdy hurdy hoo, it's a cold night for alligators", which roughly translates as: "I don't know and I don't care because I'm raking it in". Further quizzed about his alleged affair with David Beckham and that he was only included in the team because he has 'nice hair', Erickson (84) said: "It's all over between us, and just because I also included a couple of seventeen year old boys who've never even played football before it does NOT mean I'm ..." (continued P.96)
