my first time in san francisco,

what to do?

i'm free over the weekend...

That's a little forward bert, not to mention a little too suggestive for our family website.

what could be better than a romantic weekend in SF with Bert?? I can see you two on the cable cars eating Ghiradelli chocolate...!!

are you going to the skinner/martin show?
it would be a good place to meet some people and get cued towards some fun bay area activities.

yeah of course i will be at the show.

don't forget to wear your name tag, we all do it.

at least i didn't follow it up with
anyway, you guys wanna meet up early, grab a bite, then head to the show?

San francisco is a great city to just walk around in. Go to Haight St lower Haight then upper Haight which ends at Golden Gate Park. Take the Stockton bus on Sat morning through Chinatown get off in North Beach, walk up Chestnut and visit the SF Art Institute. Go walk around the Mission, the Castro, Noe Valley, Hayes Valley, Pacific Heights, Russian Hill, the Tenderloin. Visit SOMA (south of market) at night. Go to the Ferry Building at the foot of Market St. for breakfast. Take the ferry to Sausalito. Take the BART to Berkeley walk around Telegraph Ave. Go to Oakland walk around Lake Merritt at dusk. When your tired of walking stop into some of the best restaurants, coffee houses anywhere.
Get out, move around, Enjoy! Your going to love it!

Yeah, there really is no better way to start your morning than grabbing a coffee and watching a bum drop a deuce in an alley.

no one should visit the tenderloin, but for some reason there's a lot of affordable hotels there.

Hey! I live in the loin.
You can see some great sights here...just yesterday I saw 2 women beating up a guy in a wheel chair in the middle of an intersection. Now where else can you get that type of entertainment?

You can get or catch just about anything and everything in the loin.

my sister said she saw some dude wacking off his thingy while walking around the financial district yesterday. enjoy!

...and people think the loin is aweful...

Did you have a bad experience bert?

Hotcha!!

Fine. Then tell me where I SHOULD be doing that, then?

Nah...I used to live on Larkin and Sutter. Now I moved up to Sutter and Van Ness. The Loin is pretty cool...but all those hipsters are starting to move in.

SOMA is not cool at night, one time I swear I saw....nevermind, I would probably offend somebody here.

It isn't cool at night. I've lived in SOMA since 1995 and even though there's a lot of new business and residential, it's still dodgy as fuck. Some of the highlights- I've been mugged, assaulted, nearly stabbed, and run over by a car but I've gotten off pretty easy as there have been a rash of murders in my area this year.

which part of SOMA?

At least with the Loin, you know what you're in for and you can expect the worst.