Hey, Question-

I've got a wedding to go to in Sept. Clearly, this is a gift-giving situation.

However, It just occurred to me that the (girl/girl) couple is also hosting a shower this weekend as well, and both will be attending.

In my (limited) bridal shower experience, you get the bride some things for the wedding or for the honeymoon. The groom is not there & its generally a "girl's party"-Skylar is also invited, so its already not a traditional shower & I'm just trying to make sure I gift appropriately.

Since both partners will be there (its basically a party, more than a shower) do I get a gift for both the shower and the wedding?

Hmmmm, never had this one but my thought would be small gifts for the shower and bigger gift for the wedding.

My immediate thought was so politically incorrect I self-censored! . . .

if they are like the pre-wedding lesbian events I have attended, a consumable gift is best for the shower. Nice champagne and some expensive cookies. i don't think my sister and her wife had a shower though. They had more of a group bachelorette party, where people went out drinking, bowling, etc.
i was a bridesmaid in my sister's ceremony. no i didn't wear a dress.

I'd agree with uberboy on that. something nice for both of them to enjoy for the shower, then money or something for the wedding.

i stopped buying gifts for weddings a long time ago. I'm not buying people a $200 blender or something that is just going to gather dust. Unless they specifically tell me they want something on the registry list, I leave that stuff to the family to sort out.

let's see pictures. i think you would look good in a dress.

I like Steve's idea for booze for the shower and Ed's idea for money for the wedding.

Man, you guys in the US have it lucky. In Japan you've gotta pony up at least $300 cash money for a wedding or you look like a total shmuck (as in it'd be like not giving your kids presents on Christmas in the US). But that kind of gift giving culture makes you really appreciate the occasions when you just have to pick up some nice comestibles or a gift card or whatever.

yes if you are invited to a shower and a wedding, traditionally you would buy a gift for both

if the shower has no theme, a gift like they mentioned would work or something off the registry

CASH for both occasions

I hate social constructs.

I would get them a small joint gift for the shower and a larger gift for the wedding.

I'll second the cash idea. You can never go wrong (or possibly offend anyone) with money. I have a feeling this will be on my horizon soon enough for my sister and her partner, and cash is definitely going to be the gift(s) of choice.

man! who knew so many of you had lesbian sisters!

Thanks for the advice guys. I hate to give cash (seems impersonal) but I can see how its helpful when planning a wedding.

What the fucks a wedding shower????


For pressies, i'd go for expensive booze for wedding shower???, And i'd go for a nice piece of Italian glassware, a centre piece. The ladies love Italian glassware at weddings.

I'd go with a trumpet and some neat bookmarks.

some of the best gifts we got were gift cards!

Gift cards are nice, but with the way things are these days, I think cash is preferable to cards since retail chains have been going belly up.

As a compromise...I would find out if they are traveling international for their honeymoon....then I would get them currency for that destination. So it's cash but it has meaning.

Also, unless you live in a state with good consumer protection, many gift cards charge a monthly fee with lack of use, or may also expire.
Sucks.

If they drink, Champagne is always a nice gift. Get a couple of nice crystal flutes and a killer bottle of bubbly to fill them with. They can keep the glasses forever (or until they break them, whichever comes first)...
Disclaimer: I am a wino and work in the business, so I have a slight bias...

I think if you CAN cook, it might be nice. My wife makes stuff for people all the time as gifts, as long as it shows you put some work in it, and didn't just use some box-mix-insta-crap, it can be really nice. But I think food/drinks are my personal favorite gifts whether they were bought or made.

Go food for the party, some cash for the wedding, but draw silly faces/costumes on the Presidents. That's where I'd go with it.

The same thing you give straight couples. A hearty hand shake of good luck with one hand and with the other, a business card of a good divorce attorney.

Haha, ouch. I love a cynic.

That's a clever idea! I will have to keep that one in mind for the future.