1. popcorn is way cheaper at home, and isn't touched by crotch itching hands.
2. you have to wait in line for everything. tickets/admission, consessions, restrooms, leaving, etc.
3. while waiting in line for admission, the 2 people in front of you have seen the movie 10+ in the last 10 days, and spend the remainder of the wait talking about their favorite parts in the movie.
4. i hate watching movies with other people, especially a room full of other people. every time a funny moment in the film occurs, and everyone starts laughing hysterically, i feel like i'm watching a damn sitcom.
5. i don't care how padded those seats are. i'm grotesquely tall and have bad knees. if you put at least 3.5 feet between the edge of my seat and the row in front of me, i might consider removing this from the list (but the seats have to be super comfy.
6. one time i bought this jumbo size soft drink that costed nearly the same price as a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and never took the first drink until after the opening credit sequence started, only to find it flat as hell. i couldn't go and complain and get a new one because i would have missed some of the movie. so i sat and drank water with a slight pinch of sprite lingering in there somewhere. which brings me to....
7. no pause button. i hate hate HATE pausing a movie. it ruins the entire feel and completeness of the film, unless you have to piss. because holding your piss during a movie is even more ruining, because a portion of your concentration is always occupied.
8. there are always 2 really really really tall people in every movie i have ever gone to. me and the guy in front of me.
9. and, the one 12 yr old in the r-rated movie is sitting behind me, and he is about 3-4 feet tall, continually telling his mom in normal volume voice that he can't see the screen, causing me to slouch down and jam the back of that seat in front of me even further into the opening at the bottom of my bad knees..
10. scratchy/burn-holed/inked up shitty film. actually, this one doesn't bother me. but in this day and age of everyone being obsessed with HD bluray digitally remastered mumbo jumbo, i can't believe no one bitches about it!

The only thing I hate about movie theaters are the talking people, and cell phones. (especially texting!) People have lost all etiquette.

I don't get upset about the snack prices because
1. They are the only way that movie theaters make their money. Most make almost no money on ticket sales, the studio takes it all, so concessions are how they pay the bills.
2. You don't have to buy them to enjoy the film.

No disrespect, but a lot of movies are best enjoyed with a (good) crowd, so it sounds to me like you'd be better off staying home with netflix.

To everyone else, see you in line!

the only good movie experience i can remember are:

1. this little college campus theater in minneapolis played Citizen Toxie on screen with a projection device that transferred the dvd from a computer screen onto a big wall painted white. it was crooked half the time, and whenever it was bumped, the mouse arrow would appear on the screen. the other plus to that event was that it was hosted by Lloyd Kaufman, and before the film, he stood up front and explained to everyone the delicate and artist process of filming a rubber chicken being pulled from a man's ass. he never once talked about citizen toxie.

2. at a Traces Of Death marathon at (surprisingly) a big theater chain (or maybe not a chain, but the biggest theater in MN right off of 35w), i watched a woman throw up in the audience.

other than that, i am a pessimistic, and on top of the fact that almost all movies really aren't that good, i find small flaws in everything...

ps, and no disrespect, but there is no such thing as a good crowd. all people are annoying parasites, even the ones that i like.

I totally despise watching projected DVDs. I've been known to arrive at a screening, see the DVD projector, and walk out.

Fuck that. I'll just watch it at home in that case. I'll watch a pretty beat up print any day over a projected DVD. Once theaters start to do this (its only a matter of time) all bets are off.

I'll hole up in my friend Harry's basement and watch his collection hundreds of Horror, Trash & Grindhouse 35 mm prints.

You guys will never hear from me again.

aww, come on. i think it's kinda funny. maybe if it was the first time i had seen citizen toxie, it would have been bogus, but it just added to the extremely cheap feel that is a staple of troma.

I prefer theaters, it's some of the patrons I hate. Babies = Bad Idea to Bring to ANY Movie Rated PG13 and Up. Also people who talk and have cell phones. I'm not the type of guy to start fights, no ego there, but I've gotten close at theaters because of that type of junk, luckily my patience guides me to the manager to resolve it.

But theaters are more fun! I don't buy the food, but the whole ceremony of going is fantastic and I like the sound and screen size more (uuum I'm not Uncle Moneybags, I won't be getting a home theater anytime soon!) plus it's an EXPERIENCE! It's about going with friends and family, the time we all go, going out to eat and talking about it later. The whole deal. I love theaters despite some of the horrid jag-whipes who attend now and again.

I normally dislike going to the movies, but I found couple really quality cinemas nearby that care about the films they are showing, so whether they are digging up old 70's prints or showing midnight silent horror fests or even The Wrestler, I know I'm always on a winning night.

edit: I'm with Missy on the DVD projectors.
I hate digitalised movies, it just doesn't seem as smooth. Time and place for everything I guess.
Also, a couple cinemas have started to 18 and over viewings, meaning no matter what movie, if you're under age, you can't come in, so those ugly little deformed socially retarded midgets that people insist on creating can't come in and ruin my night.

Hahaha, a topic near and dear to my heart and current career path. I'm too tired to make a meaningful contribution but Missy has come to the defense of us poor Cinema people adequately

Although Missy in the defense of digitally projected material - have you seen some of the new 3d stuff that has been coming out lately? Omg so good.

Likewise! I have nearly gotten into a few altercations at theaters, because I don't let people get away with that shit if they are sitting near me. I shushed one teen kid at King Kong, and he said "uhm, excuse me, did you just SHUSH me?" I said "yes, shut up." After the movie, he tried to Run Skylar and I down in the parking lot with his car. (TRUE!) We wanted to see his car flip more than anything.

Then at Let the Right one in, We told a guy to shut up. He jumped over a theater row and luckily we were in a huge crowd, that literally took up an entire middle section row of the theater. We all turned around, and ushers came in and it was diffused before anything really bad happened. All my friends were ready to throw down though. haha. I would have kind of loved to see it. There were at least 16 of us.

I found out that at the same screening, a few rows in front of us, my other friend Justin got into a near fight where he pushed a guy for talking. We dubbed this movie "Let the Fight one in"

HA!

Don't tolerate that shit. I personally consider this guy a hero:
http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_up ... movie.html

I just saw My Bloody Valentine, it was fun, and a decent tribute to the original, which I really like. I can't wait for Coraline to come out too. 3D is a cool way to get people out to theaters, too bad since Silver Screens are so sparse it means overcrowding at the theaters that can show these!

I'm surprised, I would have assumed that people going to see an indie film would be wanky enough to talk through it.

No one mentioned the main reason never to go to the movie- 99.9% of them are complete and utter s*h*i*t!

But that's another topic entirely.... I agree with silver lining man's reasons. I'm also the guy that will get the usher and if he doesn't do anything about it- throw down time. Also kids/babies should NEVER be at any movie I attend. If you must talk, whisper in your neighbors ear.

Lastly anyone mention parking? My girl almost threw down when some sex and the city type (it was a girl going to that awful movie) ignored her turn signal while she was waiting to pull in a parking spot and pulled right in an gave her the finger. Suffice to say we don't really go to movies anymore because it's more headache than enjoyment.

You'd be AMAZED! I don't know if its Philly or what, but we were members of the Philadelphia Film Society, something you had to pay for...got invited to advance screenings with other paying film society members, who TALKED THROUGH THE MOVIES.

These were supposed to film fans. Actually, now that I think of it, that Let the Right one in screening was an advance showing, and we had passes through the Film Society. Its absurd. People just don't know how to behave.

At the risk of derail, I hate Philly, I have never had a single good experience there. This is a personal thing I know, but it doesn't surprise me that they'd start shooting people for talking in the movies there.

Maybe the other people heard that it was a vampire movie and was expecting a movie like "Twilight"


As for shooting people for talking during a movie... I don't condone it, but I definitely understand it.

Yeah, the people at movies absolutely suck - I've almost gotten into a few fights for asking (politely) people to stop talking, or clanging their ring against a metal railing.
We were watching a 70mm release of 2001 in Cinerama and this guy behind us was talking during the opening scenes of the movie with the stark landscapes and silence! Luckily when I turned around and told him to shut it he actually did.

What really gets my goat are people who don't make it to the movie on time.

Last movie I went to see, people kept filing into with their popcorn and snacks 30 to 40 minutes into the movie.

A shadow show of people Pacing around all confused until their eyes adjust.

Then they see my "elbow space" and ask if they can have the seat.
Plenty of room in the front row dumbass.

yes, complete shit. granted, i don't live anywhere near a "cool" theater that plays "good" stuff, only your mainstream theaters. nothing in the last 5 or so years or more that has hit mainstream theaters has been enough to pull me in, except for Grindhouse, The Devil's Rejects.

as for parking, i find the annoyance applies to almost all parking except my own driveway or work. and my own driveway sucks too when someone stops by to visit before i get home and parks in there, leaving me on the street!

i also would like to note that i totally forgot about the Uptown theater in Minneapolis. I have had nothing but good experiences there! maybe i forgot about it because they were good experiences, making it not seem like a theater to my memory banks.
Uptown rules. I've seen Return of the Living Dead, The Devil & Daniel Johnston, & Bubba Ho-Tep there. All were worth my time to go! except i live about 80 miles away from Uptown...

in another defense of dvd/digital projection movies:
i am a pretty big fan of shot-on-video horror (blood cult, cradle of fear), which don't have film prints or whatever. i've seen both of those projected onto the big screen, and it was great, and the only way ever shown in theaters..

Watching something at home never compares to seeing it in the theatre, almost regardless of how bad a crowd is. Movies are meant to be seen on the big screen.

The people that come in really late baffle me more than anything. I've missed the first couple of minutes before, but I can't imagine the logic behind paying or even sneaking into something that is already 5-10 minutes in or more.

I also liked the 3d in My Bloody Valentine, and want to see Coraline. Animation is unbeatable on the big screen, and we have some good screens near by - the bridge, the grove, arclight...

When my home TV is the size of the big screen, I'll consider watching at home a reasonable alternative. I don't mind the crowds, and the adrenaline rush of a fight every now and then is half the fun!

I don't even know how you can come to a movie late nowadays, since there is usually about 30 minutes of previews for upcoming movies before the movie starts anyways. If the movie started on time, some of these sad sacks would missed half the movie...

Troma hasn't done anything good in decades now. I liked them when they made low budget movies when they really didn't have any money and were honestly trying their best with what they have. Now they just make low budget movies because they think it's funny and kitschy and people expect it. But they're not funny and are just stupid and somehow they have enough money to go to Cannes and Sundance every year and promote all this crap.

And this is coming from someone who likes total GARBAGE movies (read my very infrequently updated "blog")

And do you really like SOV? Cradle of Fear?

I try to avoid movie theaters completely!

I'm tired of spending $7-9 to set in the dark and listen to folks talk!

When we saw No Country for Old Men, I had to turn around and see if the lady behind us was blind because her boyfriend would tell her everything that was happening...everything (very loudly)! I asked him to please lower his voice as it was very distracting and he laughed and continued on.

We walked out of the Others due to folks talking so loud that we couldn't hear the movie at all. I felt like I was at a bar, not a movie theater.

I don't expect it to be completely quite (that would be nice), but it totally takes me out of the movie when folks are talking and carring on!

I've been to many, many fun screenings where folks talk along, sing, or yell at the screen...
Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Big Leboski
Troma flicks (to many to name)
Re-release of the Star War films (years back)

GOOD TIMES!

I use to enjoy the theater experience and even worked at a movie theater when I was in High School. Movie theaters have gone downhill over the years and the whole experience isn't as exciting or fun as it used to be.

Granted I did see the Dark Knight on an IMAX screen and it was amazing!

I will be venturing out and seeing The Watchmen when it comes out!!!

We still catch and a movie from time to time with friends, but I would rather watch them at home.

In regard to the talking, cell phones, late arrivals, etc, I really think this is due in large part to the prevalence of home video/dvd. People just act like they're in their living room, rather than in a public place. The second time I saw The Dark Knight, there was an entire extended family (including kids who looked to be 3 and 5 years old) who just sat and talked (in the kids' cases, screamed) constantly, to the point where I had to leave.
As well, it certainly seems as if most younger people (anywhere from jr. high to college age) treat movies as a social situation; a place to chat with their friends, hit on girls/guys and just get out of the parents' house for a while. It drives me fucking nuts - if I go to see a movie, no matter what, I want to watch the damn thing. (I used to mouth off to people a lot more, but it really gets Janet upset - and, as people have pointed out, it usually doesn't help). And the fact that ushers and managers who'll actually do something about this have gone the way of the dinosaur pretty much puts the nail in that coffin.
When Janet and I go to the theater, it's generally after the film has been out for a while, and even then we try to pick times (like early Sunday, or very early evenings) when it's less populated. Thankfully, we have a couple of "art house" theatres that will play a good variety of stuff (tho no horror-type films), and a college cinema that plays mostly classics, documentaries, and avant-garde stuff. And there is one place that, while their booking policy is largely populist crap, is probably the best place in town - no one under 18 after 6 pm, excellent sound and projection, and you can bring drinks into the theatre. (It's actually kind of upscale, not like one of those "Drafthouse" free-for-alls). A little more pricy than an avrage theatre, but I've always said I'd pay a premium for a hassle-free environment.

I go to the movies every saturday night, and see the same shitty movie!

We all shout at the top of our lungs and talk crap about the movie...sometimes we throw shit (up and back of course, not to damage the screen)...

There are even people who stand in front of the screen and block our view, and we don't complain....

Other than that movie, I will go to that same theater to see B Horror Movies that I already own on dvd with a theater full or rowdy people, fun stuff!