Cheyldra serpentina, the Common Snapping Turtle, as found in the Mid-Atlantic region. I was able to politely cajole this critter until it became irritated enough to get out from the middle of the road. He/ she was heading for the high ground either due to heavy rains or egg laying.

Most people never see one of these, and when they do, they take a photo like this...


That's fine, but you really don't get the sense urgency that was present while standing in the middle of the road. Now ol' MZ is some kind of woodsman or something, and this is not his first encounter with a snapper, so naturally he's going to photograph this turtle the Marvel way...


See how dynamic and engaging the second turtle is compared to the first? Aren't you rooting for this turtle to get the fuck out of the way already? The thing was approximately 15inches longs and rather nimble once it got going. A yuppie yelled at me to pick it up and carry it off the road, however there is no safe way to handle one of these without cruelty, so I declined. It crawled into the brush and disappeared.

Look at the monster tail on that badboy.
Nice of you to shoo him out of the road.

S/He's pretty wicked!

All I see though is Gamera.

I've never seen one of these guys up close before. I wonder if they'll struggle violently and try to bite of you pick them up.

They don't call them "snapping turtles" for no good reason!

Used to see them in the rivers when floating back when I was younger---they will hiss and snap their jaws and lunge at you if they are threatened---very Gamera-like behavior!

I have a friend who found one when he was young and has had it as a pet since. It's like 20" or more, fucking HUGE! He even breeds rats to feed it. I mean, it's not the only reason he breeds rats, he has some as pets, but some get eaten. I'm not saying any of it's "ok" or anything, I don't know how he makes the choice of which live and die, but he does it.

Back to the turtle, they're nuts! That thing hisses at me everytime I'm over and even though it's kept safely away it's still scary.

screw picking one of those up. the claws can reach your fingers, scratch you, cause infection, and then...about three days later, a baby snapping turtle will burst out of your chest--then swallow you whole, and breathe fire and burn your house down.

I had a pet turtle as a kid. I was holding him one day and he scratched me. My natural reaction was to drop him. He hit his leg on a cement stair and the wound got infected and he died. Just poke him along with a stick or something.

a hockey stick could've sped up the process....

I beeped at a group of Canadian geese that were walking along an on ramp with concrete walls on both sides, until they were safely off the road. Nobody yelled at me though, luckily it was a slow Sunday afternoon...

This may be one of my favourite tangents ever, partly cuz I can completely hear it in my head.

Joeman, thats terrible (in a sad way, not like you're evil)

I have that SNFU song (Snapping Turtle ..) in my head since I saw this
thread this morning. Please make it stop !
Chew Chew, let me chew - arrrrgh !

Isn't there some way to make the fire shoot outta' it's arms and legs? I mean, like it'd just fly away then right?

BTW when you die you'll now have the option to go to "turtle heaven" and be revered as a saint.

is the acrylic pen on top of your tank custom or production??? never seen one quite like it, baaaagh damn you now having me want to set up another tank and go buy newts

It's something I designed and had fabricated. They fcuked it up the first time so I actually built one to scale outta' cardboard before I went back and it STILL wasn't what I wanted, so I took a mapp gas torch to it and made "adjustments". The turtles, of course, didn't care one way or the other and seem to love it.

well it looks like the pain was worth it, sure the turtles love ya that much more for the penthouse with a view

I have 3 turtles outside in a 200 gallon metal stock tank. they love it! 1 Mississippi map turtle and 2 yellow belly sliders. I highly recommend the Map turtles. He is five years old and less than 5 inches 1/4 lb. The female slider is 5 years old 15" and 15lbs.. this is not kids stuff...

Do they turtles not go over the edge and fall on the floor ?


ditto on the snapper, local pet shop let's you "buy" a rat to feed him. Violent!

I have seen this! This is true!