KOZIK' ALBUM

my suggested title: "Waiting for the Cable Guy in Vain"

SIDE A
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One Vinyl Figure

(The Legend of Kiddy Clam)

(by Lambert-Potter, sung to 'One Tin Soldier' (The Legend Of Billy Jack)

Listen, children, to a story
That was written long ago,
'Bout a Ebayer on a mountain
And the collector-folk below.

On Ebay was a treasure
The rarest figure ever known,
And the collector-people swore
They'd have it for their very own.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and snipe a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One vinyl figure ships away.

So the collectors of the valley
Sent a message up the hill,
Asking for the buried treasure,
That perfect figure for which they'd kill.

Came an answer from the Seller,
"With no brothers shall will share
All the secrets of our wharehouse,
All the Kaiju buried there."

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and snipe a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One vinyl figure ships away.

Now the valley cried with anger,
"Mount your Vespas! Man the bulletin board!!"
And they killed that vile Ebayer,
So they won their just reward.

Now they stood beside the package,
That arrived that very day, dark and red.
Turned the cardboard and looked beneath it...
"8 Inch D.unny" was all it said.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and snipe a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One vinyl figure ships away.

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Leave The Fresh Meat Alone

sung too

Take The Long Way Home by Supertramp

So you here you are on rfso
Playing a part in a picture-show
Leave the Fresh Meat alone
Leave the Fresh Meat alone

Cos he's the the joke of your online neighborhood
Why should you care he's feeling good
Leave the Fresh Meat alone
Leave the Fresh Meat alone

There are times that you feel youre more than part of the scenery
All that scenery is comin down, boy
Cause you wish you had a wife and some furniture, oh, its peculiar, life used to be so nice.

When lonely days turn to lonely nights
You take a trip to the city lights
Leave the Fresh Meat alone
Leave the Fresh Meat alone

You never see what you want to see
Forever staring at the Rough Toys gallery
Leave the Fresh Meat alone
Leave the Fresh Meat alone

And when youre posting on the forum, its so unbelievable,
Unforgettable, how many toys are not for you,
But then your Mom seems to think youre losing your sanity,
Oh, calamity, is there no way out?

Does it feel that your favorite website has become a catastrophe?
Oh, it has to be for you to grow, boy.
When you look through the years and see what you could
Have been oh, what might have been,
If youd had more cash.

So, when the day comes to flip it all around,
Whos to blame if some buyers are not around?
Leave the Fresh Meat alone
Leave the Fresh Meat alone...........

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The Streets of Ol Frisco
sung to the tune of 'The Streets Of Laredo arranged by Arlo Guthrie)

As I walked out in the streets of Ol Frisco
As I walked out in Ol Frisco one day
I spied Pogue holding a toy wrapped up in white linen
All wrapped in white linen as cold as the clay

"I see by your S7 bag that you are a collector"
These words he did say as I tried to sneak by
"Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story
I've paid too much on Ebay and I know I must cry"

"'Twas once in my sportscar I used to go ridin'
Until i sold it to bid on Ebay
First lead to toy buyin, and then to completing
I've blown all my money on this here D.unny and I'm dying today

"Let six Pushead Kawsboys come carry my coffin
Let six pretty Flowbots come to carry my pall
Throw bunches of realheads all over my coffin
Throw Munnies to deaden the clods as they fall

"Oh, beat the drum slowly, and play the fife lowly
And play me some beegees as you carry me along
Take me to the green valley and lay the earth o'er me
For I'm a collector and I know I've done wrong"

We beat the drum slowly and played the fife lowly
And bitterly wept as we carried him along
For we all loved our comrade, so brave, young and handsome
We all loved our comrade although he done wrong

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Stayin Online

( sung to: Stayin alive by the beegees.)

Well, you can tell by the way I rarely walk,
Im a Kaiju man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women none, Ive been kicked around
Since I was born.
And now its all right. its ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The rfso forum effect on a man.

Whether youre living with your brother or sponging off your mother,
Youre stayin online, stayin online.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And were stayin online, stayin online.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin online, stayin online.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin online.

Well now, I bid low and I bid high,
And if I cant win either, I really try.
Got ebay 100%,iv'e paid my dues.
Im a collecting man and I just cant lose.
You know its all right. its ok.
Ill live to see another day.
We can try to understand
The rfso forum effect on a man.

Whether youre living with your brother or sponging off your mother,
Youre stayin online, stayin online.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And were stayin online, stayin online.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin online, stayin online.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin online.

Life goin nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin nowhere. somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah. stayin online.

Well, you can tell by the way I rarely walk,
Im a Kaiju man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women none, Ive been kicked around
Since I was born.
And now its all right. its ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The rfso forum effect on a man.

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How Deep is Your Hate?

(sung to How Deep Is Your Love by the Beegees)

I know your glowig eyes in the basement light
I feel you touch me with your plastic brain
And the moment that you wander far I might
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me in an Ems Box
Keep me warm in your hate and then softly gather dust
And its you I need to show online

Chorus:
How deep is your Hate
I really need to learn
cause were living in a world of fools
Flippin you 'round
When they all should let you be
You belong to only me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
Youre the GID in my deepest darkest hour
Youre my saviour when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And its You I need to show online

this could be the first release of Man's Ruin Records Strikes Back...

That shit would be so funny if it was released w/ a special edition toy.
I can just hear the singing over a shitty casio keyboard or a 808.

I'll have to charge royalties for that.