Someone wrote me asking was up with me as I have not been active on this board for the last 2 or so weeks. Basically when I came back from SF(LilJpan/RxH/S7 event). I was gonna ask my girl to marry me and when I came back home she told me(before I asked her)that we should separate. This really sucks and has put a hamper on X-mas and shit. I know that things will pick up no matter what happens but the news has pretty much killed me lately. I have been really depressed big time and It's somewhat of a struggle to get back to where I was at.
Apologies to not writing some folks back and apologies for not sending those Japanese punk tapes to those who requested one. I'm not really in the mood for outside activities right now. I hope you all understand.
Tonight we are gonna talk and basically we are gonna reconcile and try to make it work or we're just gonna cement the break up.
I'll get those tapes out as soon as I have the addresses of the folks who I talked to up there in SF.

yo richard, chin up bro! hit me up if you need shit.

Thanks Scott. When I called you on Monday was because I was in L.A. looking for a new place to live. I did find some nice apartments but I need a roommate. I asked my brother but he's comfortable at home. Anyone interested???
Scott,what do you mean need shit? Like furniture?? I do need a couch and a fridge. I might sell off some of my toys and records to get a place(absolutely NO Pushead or Real X Head shit will be sold).

Yeah....chin up Richard. Your friends will keep you going so don't block them out.

Yeah,my friends who know are being way supportive and I already got a job lined up in Hollywood with Home Depot(where I'm working at right now). If we can't be together I will have to get a 1 bedroom here in Escondido(Northern San Diego)and move when I have enough saved up.

Good luck, dude. I was there just two months ago. Obviously, all situations are different, but I feel like I am better off now. I feel so totally, absolutely free. If you need another person to talk to, don't hesitate to get a hold of me.

a change of scenery always helps! I also found this year that when the girl bails the marked men -fix my brain is a good record to listen to .
take care dude

get back to the register!

Rich, stay up man, things will work out. Stay positive and take care of yourself.

Sorry to hear it Rich. If she doesn't want you, you don't need her. That line always works for me...

Thanks for the support guys(James,Jeremy,Alex,Scott,etc). I will always love Joy no matter what happens. I do realize that I have to move on and continue with my life. I know I have a life to live,where ever and with whomever it may be with.

We are gonna be talking tonight at 7(about 1 hour from now)and I'm gonna be very honest and tell her that I really love her and want her to be with me. Before I do though I want to know what she wants. She called this meeting with her brother as a mediator. She still ends every email with "baby" or "love,Joy" and still writes "I'll be home" through emails and texts. I have not spoken to her since Saturday night.

Even if we can reconcile I will be very sad that we even got to this point. Maybe I could've done something different. I know that we both fuck up from time to time. No one is perfect.

I know this really holds no water but I really miss getting some cool toys. I just can't go out and buy shit with the strong possibility that I will no longer be sharing bills and things I need. I don't have a fridge or couch. Who the fuck wants to be in a living room with no couch?

Too much shit too think about. I'm gonna be here tomorrow after 4 pm California time. Then I go to a show and go see Sweeny Todd with my friend Erica from work.

Life will go on.

Sorry to hear this also, heartbreak is the worst - but whatever happens, you'll likely look back and say "Thank God it did".

I think its worse that it was my day off and I was on skullbrain.

a day off? brian must be a wuss for a boss. i'd have your barney rubble ass workin 24-7 to satisfy the holiday neo kaiju craze! he needs to get you a big sign where you can stand out on the corner and twirl it around all day.


richard, hope everything is good dude.

Damn........things always work out for the best and sure hope they do soon for you. Stay positive! And happy hollidays

Damn........things always work out for the best and sure hope they do soon for you. Stay positive! And happy hollidays

1 month

This is how long we are gonna use to clear our heads and see what happens when the month is over. If we break up it's all good,it might be for the best. I will have kept a really good,if not best friend out of it. Sure it's hard and it feels like life sucks but we all got to go through tough times to make us stronger individuals. I will be there for you Joy,either it be as a boyfriend/partner or just a good friend. The end result I still love you and care for you allot.
I feel good right now and either decision that is made I will move on and grow and try to improve on my over all life to become a better person.

Hey man, sounds like a rational solution and may well avoid the meltdown for you both . . . if things ain't clickin' after a month they ain't ever gonna, and movin' on is the only road.

Treat everyday like it's yer last and live YOUR life . . . it's all too short and even though break-ups are a mindfuck, a quick ending is sometimes for the best in the long run.

Stay positive!

I've been straight edge for 22 years now so I have no choice but to stay positive