Damn...I guess people are afraid to curse at Glenn. LOL

Why would I curse at Glenn?I need him on my good side!

I'm glad it was such a tight deadline. Brings out the spontaneous spirit I think! Wish there were more prizes though. 2 prizes for 2 categories? So brutal!

Wow... I would've thought any number of people would just use Babelfish and call you up...

That's just unbelievably great. Reminds me of the old Warren mags from the '70's (Creepy, Eerie, Famous Monsters) Now you just have to create the rest of the book!

Holy shit man, lots of good stuff running around here!

I can no longer wear Undefeated now.

I'm totally blown away by the excellence of many entries. Good luck everyone!

If there was Gaelic on Babelfish, they would only give you what the words are. There won't be a pronunciation code. The letter combinations in Gaelic are very confusing and the words are easily butchered. Here's an example:
May the devil choke you = Marbhfháisc ort!
have fun pronouncing that

...FUCK YOU POGUE!...there,i did it!.

hey.....that is not Gaelic

D'anam don diabhal, Pogue!!
I guess it could be changed to: D'anam don Pogue!!

heres my losing entry..c'mon is st. patricks day and I've been drinking since eight...Oh Danny Boy....dah dah dah

pogue mahone = kiss my ass

and before someone ask pogue is the word for kiss not ......

Go gcreime Pogue do bhall fearga...lol

“This party’s great, isn’t it Gary? I don’t think I’ve ever been to a St. Patrick’s Day costume party.”

“Oh these aren’t costumes, Gale. Just about everyone here is a real live monster.”

The couple dances away from the blaring speakers adjacent to the DJ booth and struggle to hear one another as they speak.

“Ha ha. I’m sorry, I thought I just heard you say that everyone here is a monster?”

“Yes. Bob in accounting turned me on to this group. Apparently, there are a ton of monsters that have outrageous life spans compared to us humans and have all grown to be great friends over the centuries.”

“So how did Bob find out about them?”

“He used to work at a call center for the cable company where one of his fellow employees was the smog monster. In fact here comes Hedorah now.”

The couple watches as a giant mound of gelatinous slime slithers its way across the dance floor.

“Hey Gary! Have you guys tried the bean dip? Cough cough cough. I’m just playing with you. I only feed on the earth’s many sources of pollution. But let me tell you, plenty of food over there on the snack table certainly would qualify. Ha ha ha.”

“Hedorah, I’d like you to meet my date for the evening, Gale. Gale, please meet Hedorah.”

The two attempt to shake hands, though unfortunately due to the protean nature of the smog monster’s body, the woman’s hand slides right through him. The three share a brief awkward moment interrupted by a high-pitched scream traveling from the other side of the ballroom.

“He’s dying! Somebody help!”

The crowd parts to reveal a two-headed ghostly figure writhing in pain directly beneath the disco ball. Voices, stricken with concern, sound off from the group.

“Ghostfighter, who did this vile act?” Rattled off a unicorn dragon.

“Was it your nemesis Squirm, the evil giant squid?”

“Someone call an ambulance, he’s turning green!”

The ghostfighter’s breathing dramatically increases, and then begins to slow. He struggles to come up with words as the life begins to leave his body.

“It…”

"Twas…”

The crowd hushes as to take note of every word that leaves the heroic warrior’s lips. A cosmic wave of retribution will certainly await the traitor who has caused this unwarranted misery. And with the last gasp of air in his lungs the words finally come.

“It was the Tostinos!!!!”

Everyones entries are so sick! I was telling Danielle about this and she got really excited and wanted to try her hand at it. I thought it was pretty damn good!

ps, I realized some people don't know. Danielle is my Fiance!
_____________________________________________________
Carried as a champion through the streets
the Ghostfighter was lifeless, gone, incomplete.
Broken hearts divided his mind,
an internal struggle brought about his demise.

His beginning was pure, two heads and two hearts
until once day, one of the heartbeats stopped.
The two pure hearts split, the two hearts weren't one,
the thump thumps continued but the downfall had begun.

In the skip of the beat, in the pause of the heart,
one heart became evil, although it was good from the start.
The two heads and the heart fought the war of their life,
but darkness does spread, and easily blots out all light.

The dark had snuck in, took its place for all time,
and the heads and the heart heard their requiem chime.
The end of the rope was the end of the ride,
for if Ghostfighter kept living, the rest would soon die.

The evil swelled up, swallowing all that was good,
a black cloud of destruction, like termites to wood.
With the skip of the beat, the evil strode in,
and with that fateful miss, goodness couldn't win.

Ghostfighter sat fighting, with all of his might,
light against dark, and dark against light.
His head loudly pounding, his eye began to swell,
the truth was ringing, chiming, like a bell.

With one fateful breath, tears streaming down his face,
Ghostfighter slowly gave up, gave into the race.
As the sad appartion gave his final goodbye, the evil consumed him,
and down, down, he died.

Tears still cover the ground where he rose,
his spirit still lingers, reminding of the path that he chose.
For the evil was strong, much stronger than good,
and Ghostfighter gave everything- as much as he could.

A skip of a beat, a choice to stay pure,
Ghostfighter destroyed himself, so he could be sure.
The evil was gone, but so was the Ghost,
now just a hollow, a shell that loved life the most.

So never forget, our ill-fated friend,
Ghostfighter the great, from beginning to end.
His spirit will linger, his truth will resound,
up in the air, and here on the ground.

When you feel a cold chill, or hear a soft sigh,
Ghostfighter's still there, he didn't just die.
He's here in our hearts, in the air, and our breath
the greatest of fighters, in life and in death.


_________________________________________________________________

This entry is on behalf of Lance. He sings in my band and he's the other part of the Wolf Brothers. He doesn't have a computer but wanted to enter. This is for him.

Good luck!!!

Shit, double post.

...my vote goes to Danielle(Hank's fiance)...

Ghostfighter's Demise : A Choose Your Own Adventure Story



>>> START HERE

Each of Ghostfighter's two heads contained a distinct personality. The left side called himself Waldo. The right side, Emerson.

One day, Waldo spied a beautiful girl. Her name was Penelope, and the two fell instantly in love. Soon they were inseparable, almost as much as Waldo and Emerson's heads themselves.

In short time Emerson, too, became attached to Penelope.

Waldo sensed Emerson's growing love for Penelope, and in a sudden burst of pent up jealous rage, he struck Emerson. The two viciously locked horns over who would ultimately betroth Penelope. They tirelessly continued to swing and gnaw at each other long after they were both skinned and tattered and ruptured. The floor became slick with melting jello flesh and crunchy with random teeth.

Penelope found them mid-brawl. The sight absolutely terrified her. In reaction to the brutality, she let loose her true feelings — her shared but equal love for them both. The two heads abruptly halted their fight. Her confession brought on an echoing silence in the wake of overwhelming shock and confusion. They slid their swollen eyes toward her in slow motion and watched her leave, her head hung low.

Dear reader, what do you think they should do next?

If you want them to make a lighthearted decision, go to the section titled "WISH FULFILLED." Or if you want a more dramatic solution, go to the section titled "UNITED."



>>> WISH FULFILLED

Waldo and Emerson came to their senses and realized that they needed the help of the Fairy Ghostmother. She lived in her Secret Base in the Forest of Fiends. They braved the elements and fought their way through night and day, their path lit only by their tiny hope for true love.

When they finally found the Fairy Ghostmother in her Secret Base, she empathetically listened to their story and agreed to grant them one wish.

The two heads looked at each other and knew exactly what they wanted. Exhausted they requested, "We want to become human so that we can be with our one true love, Penelope."

"Wish granted!" she lilted. With a tap of her wand and a blinding whirl of fairy dust, Waldo and Emerson were transformed into a living, breathing, human boy.

The boy opened his eyes and found himself at the front doorstep of Penelope's farmhouse. He stereoscopically gazed down at his new body, then searched his undivided face with human hands. Hardly able to contain his glee, he burst through the door to share the exciting news.

"Hello? Penelope? Hello?! Hello...?"

It was at that moment that he saw the gruesome scene of her self bisection. Distressed and disoriented and unable to choose one head over the other, she had decided to split herself into two halves. It was the only way to give herself to each of them. However, it resulted in her unforeseen death.

Dear reader, what do you want to happen next?

If you want it to be gritty, go to the section titled "WITHOUT." If you enjoy Hollywood happiness, go to the section titled "HAPPILY EVER AFTER."



>>> UNITED

Waldo and Emerson decided that only by cooperation could they end the suffering and achieve their common goal. So with great determination and abbreviated planning, Waldo picked up a large fishing hook and line and trembled at the thought of sewing their heads together into one.

Waldo started the first stitch at the "v" of their connected neck. After some resistance, the tip of the hook clumsily pierced their raw skin-film and sent a squirt of bitter ectoplasm splattering into Emerson's eye. All four eyes winced. The two heads took painful turns cross-lacing all the way up. Even though Waldo had to arch himself over Emerson in order to match up one eye and half brain and half mouth each, the new combined self was quietly pleased with the grotesquely disfigured results. But his crooked toothy smile betrayed his nervousness.

With his new look and combined personality, he ran over to Penelope's farmhouse. He was hardly able to wait another moment. So he burst through the door and called out to her. "Penelope? Penelope?! Pen...?"

It was at that moment that he saw the gruesome scene of her self bisection. Unable to choose one head over the other, she had decided to split herself. All alone she had concluded this was the only way to give herself to each of them. She gave little thought to the death it might ultimately cause.

He was standing and looking with his single head at her halves when something snapped. It was the stitch at the top. With an explosion of fluid and a staccato tearing sound, the two halves ripped themselves apart.

Waldo crashed his head through the microwave as Emerson placed his own in the oven. With a pop and a hiss, it ended.

THE END



>>> WITHOUT

The boy was tormented. With his heart thumping in his ears, he picked up the same chainsaw Penelope had used and ripped himself into two. They became Waldo and Emerson again. Each half staggered to its matching half-Penelope and slumped into place. They quietly lied there feeling strangely whole and peaceful as they gently seeped at the seams and drifted toward eternal sleep.

THE END



>>> HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Panicked and flustered the boy rushed out of the house and ran away. Far, far away. He grew to be an old, lonely man at the edge of the Forest of Fiends.

On his deathbed the Fairy Ghostmother visited him to ask him what became of his wish. Without anger he told her that it did not turn out the way he hoped. Yes, he became a human, but he had lost the love of his life. She winked at him and whispered in his ear, "Things aren't always what they seem..."

Before he could respond, he let out his last breath.

When his spirit reached the heavens, it took on his original Ghostfighter form as Waldo and Emerson once again. As they shaded their eyes and squinted at the bright light, they saw a shape emerge from far away. It was Penelope — as she was when they first met her, but more radiant and beautiful than ever.

Now he realized what wish the Fairy Ghostmother really granted. Not the one about becoming human, but the one where they could spend the rest of eternity together without all the worldly worries and jealousy.

THE END

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

this was written together with my wife, who i think had more fun than i did!

(edited multiple times for atrocious spelling)

My bad, check post up there!

Last Words:

"Whose idea was this anyway? 'Dying for an idea,' again, sounds well enough, but why not let the idea die instead of me?"

- Ghostfighter

a sketch to go along with the first part of my choose your own adventure story...

unfortunately, i drew it on the same sheet of paper that i photocopied a picture of the ghostfighter and ran out of space!



(edited to re-link to color-corrected version)