In the early 90s I was a manager at a mom & pop computer retailer in rural Pennsylvania. I would get some fantastic quotes from customers, for instance, when I told a walk-in that you could access an enyclopedia, dictionary, and thesaurus using a computer's CD-ROM, he replied, "That's great! My kid loves dinosaurs!"

One time I completely lost it during a support call. I was walking a client through trying to manage their print jobs, and they said they got to a window that mentioned a "print kwee-wee." It took me a minute but I finally figured out that they hadn't heard the word "queue" before. I had to put them on hold while I got the laughter under control.

About 10 years ago I was doing web development for a site whose admin was Welsh and pronounced "cache" as "quiche."

I had no idea what the guy meant for about 2-3 months.

Oh also, I just took over a systems admin gig from what has to be the most incompetent sysamins I have ever seen. Very clearly doing the bare minimum work and just billing for goods. In the middle of the lockdown/audit—that began on Monday and has winded down today—I noticed a user logged in for 2+ years with admin access. I tell the company owner and he said that "Well, I don't think they mean bad. Can we send them an e-mail and ask?" So you are concerned about system security, you hire me to audit and lock down the machines because you know your last admins did nothing and you are no worried there has been someone logged into your main business machine for TWO YEARS.

Thank goodness for incompetent techs. You only make my skills more viable.

I have a friend who was talking to a lady about items stolen from her home, she said "they cleaned out my cheerio cabinet" instead of curio cabinet.

From a friend of mine who is a sound engineer at a club

Some rapper: Can you turn down the vocals on my CD I can't hear my own voice