Money Doesn’t Talk

liquidsky · Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:51 pm

Interesting article about the women hiding expensive purchases by paying in cash.
Might be of interest to those in a relationship who quietly sneak expensive figures into their collections. Or those who have conflict with significant others about spending. With $2000 handbags and shoes at $700 a pair, is that $190 Kaws figure that much of an issue?

Money Doesn’t Talk

By SHIVANI VORA
AFTER months of eyeing a black Chanel tote at Saks Fifth Avenue, Shalla Azizian was ready to splurge. Instead of charging the $2,000 bag to a credit card, Ms. Azizian, a lingerie boutique owner in Manhattan, discreetly plunked down a stack of crisp bills she brought for the purchase.

Through her store, Pesca, Ms. Azizian has earned her financial independence, but to avoid the disapproval of her husband of 27 years, she adopts a low profile by using cash. “His tastes aren’t as expensive as mine, and he doesn’t understand the need to have so many pricey things,” Ms. Azizian, 50, said. “Even though I have my own income, paying for my shopping in cash is so much easier than having a discussion about what I’m buying.”

Though this is 2007, not 1957, the age-old practice of women disguising personal indulgences by paying in cash persists even though the majority of women today earn a salary and, in an affluent age, families have more disposable income.

Women cite a variety of reasons. Some, like Ms. Azizian, hope to head off an argument with a penny-pinching husband or boyfriend. Others feel guilty spending lavishly on themselves, and so they prefer to pay with cash, which is more easily forgotten than a monthly reckoning. A handful say they simply feel a sense of freedom from pulling the wool over their husbands’ eyes.

While hard data is difficult to come by, the number of women paying in cash for designer goods has increased in the last several years, according to retail analysts and interviews with 10 upscale boutique owners nationwide and employees for chains like Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom.

“Women buying luxury goods in cash is a fast-growing phenomenon,” said Marshal Cohen, an analyst for NPD Group, a market research firm that conducts 45,000 online interviews about consumer habits each week. Mr. Cohen, who interviews as many as 100 shoppers weekly, said women reported paying with cash to disguise purchases as low as $150 and as much as $10,000. “Their answer to why they’re doing this is always the same,” he said. “Their husbands or boyfriends don’t identify with the need to own such pricey items, and cash shopping affords them independence.”

Howard Davidowitz, who has studied consumer habits firsthand for decades, said that in the last three years he has seen more cash purchases at luxury boutiques like Louis Vuitton and semiluxury chains like Coach. Mr. Davidowitz, chairman of Davidowitz & Associates, a retail consulting firm, suspects now that $2,000 handbags and $700 shoes are commonplace, more women pay in fresh bills from the A.T.M. to cover their tracks.

Women purchase about 65 percent of luxury goods, according to Unity Marketing, a consulting firm. The market for the highest price point is growing 20 percent to 32 percent a year, according to the Luxury Marketing Council, a marketing association based in Manhattan.

Paying for expensive accessories with wads of cash is more conspicuous than dropping a few bills for inexpensive apparel. But an informal survey of managers and salesclerks at 15 midpriced stores like Banana Republic and Ann Taylor indicates that customers of these stores like cash, too — sometimes for items less than a $100. It’s hard to say whether they are attempting to camouflage a purchase or simply using pocket money.

“At the super luxury stores like Bergdorf Goodman, shopping is more of a social experience than at stores like Gap,” Mr. Davidowitz said. “The salespeople are trained to interact and have discussions with you.” And so, he suggested, employees of luxury stores are more likely to hear women rationalizing why they pay with cash.

These purchases harken back to a time when far fewer women worked and in some cases received allowances from their husbands, whose hold on the family purse strings enforced their power as head of household. But today, even though about 56.2 percent of women 16 and older work and though marriage has become much more of a partnership of equals, a surprising number of women still find it necessary to hide how much they spend on personal items, especially stereotypical female indulgences like clothing.

“Women have this fear about their spouse’s reaction to their shopping bills,” said Amy DiFrisco, who was a witness to cash buying as a personal shopper at Bergdorf Goodman for nearly a decade. “Cash lets them avoid that confrontation.” As the owner of a clothing boutique, Two Blondes, on the Upper East Side, she continues to see the cash habit. “It was surprising at first, but now it’s no big deal,” she said.

Ms. DiFrisco, who has been married for 17 years, has her own bank account and credit cards, but even she uses cash sometimes for an expensive indulgence. Like more than a dozen women shoppers interviewed for this article, Ms. DiFrisco said paying in cash is simpler than explaining her purchasing rationale to her husband. “There’s no paper trail with cash,” she said. “If I charge it, I feel like I still have to deal with bills at the end of the month and somehow justify it.”

Even modestly priced goods strike some husbands as unnecessary. Sandy Stern, 55, a translation coordinator who lives in Mahwah, N.J., cashes her paychecks to occasionally stock up on belts and sweaters at outlets and midpriced stores like Chico’s. “I like to have quantities of things, and that’s the part my husband doesn’t understand, even if it’s not expensive,” Ms. Stern said.

It’s not just married women who make purchases on the sly. Amy Butewicz, 23, a pharmacy student who lives with her parents in South River, N.J., pays cash for half of her indulgences, such as her new Louis Vuitton agenda. She plays down her taste for luxury items to her boyfriend, who prefers Old Navy. “If he was more into designer stuff, I don’t think I’d have to hide as much, but I feel so guilty,” said Ms. Butewicz, who uses money earned from a part-time job. “When I buy something so expensive, and he asks how much it is, I don’t want to tell him the real cost because I’m sometimes afraid that he’ll think I’m nuts.”

Marlin S. Potash, a psychologist in Manhattan who frequently addresses financial issues in her practice, said that even if a couple’s money is not pooled, women fear that men may be dismissive of their desire to refresh their wardrobe.

At a time when women make up close to half the labor force and hold executive-level jobs, the notion of hiding purchases may seem antiquated, even perverse. Those who study sex roles blame the persistence of stereotypes. “Traditionally, women are supposed to be altruistic and put others first and aren’t supposed to lavish on themselves,” said Kathleen Gerson, a professor of sociology at New York University and an author of “The Time Divide: Work, Family, and Gender Inequality.” Women hide their personal purchases to cope with this labeling, she said.

A favored practice of many clandestine shoppers is to withdraw a few hundred dollars at a time from bank accounts to avoid conspicuously large drains. The money is stashed in a private place like a lingerie drawer until there is enough to make a purchase. Some women say they also write checks at grocery stores for amounts larger than needed and pocket the difference.

Others are more elaborate. A 50-year-old woman from New Jersey, who asked to remain anonymous to protect her marriage, said she exaggerates the price of furniture and home décor and skims off the top when her husband hands over the money; he prefers to pay for projects in cash because certain stores and contractors don’t charge taxes, she said. “The funny thing is that he has no problem dropping money on any home-related expenses no matter what they cost,” she said, adding that he is the sole earner. “It’s only my shopping which bothers him.”

The woman sometimes delights in deceiving her husband, who only occasionally notices her David Yurman jewelry. “If he asks if what I’m wearing is new, I’ll always respond by saying, ‘I’ve had it for ages,’ ” she said. The couple certainly does not lack for money: they own three homes. But the woman still feels the need to tuck away money for her own purchases, she said, which “lets me maintain my independence.”

Not so, some psychologists say. “If you have to hide, then you’re not really free and independent,” said Kathleen Gurney, a psychologist who is the chief executive of financialpsychology.com, a Web site that advises individuals and institutions on the psychology of financial behavior. Regular discussions and even arguments about spending values make for a healthy relationship, she said.

But Ms. Azizian likens her sly spending to harmless fun. “It’s not deceitful,” she said. Her boutique regularly rings up traceless cash purchases of lingerie like $250 La Perla bras.

MEN certainly aren’t above treating themselves. But the difference, psychologists say, is that men are more likely to be open about buying an iPod or a $2,500 case of 2003 Château Pavie for their wine cellar, even if it leads to an argument. “In my experience, when men make money, they assume it is theirs,” Dr. Potash said. “Women, even if they earn their own money, sometimes feel compelled to ask permission to buy things.”

Justin Mastrangelo, 28, a Web site developer from Pittsburgh, bought a $200 portable Sony PlayStation to occupy him on a recent flight. “I didn’t need it, but I really wanted it,” he said. Despite his wife’s disapproval, Mr. Mastrangelo said that it has never occurred to him to keep mum about gadgets he buys, even ones costing thousands of dollars. “I’d rather have conflict about what I’m buying than be secretive,” he said.

Other husbands adopt a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. A 40-year-old money manager at a hedge fund in the New York area said he travels to Atlantic City with buddies a few times a year and drops up to $10,000 on blackjack, which he never discusses with his wife. The man, the sole earner in the family, suspects that his wife regularly pays cash at SoHo boutiques. “She’ll have six pairs of new shoes, which won’t show up on the credit card bill,” he said. “I don’t discuss it with her because we don’t have an affordability issue. It’s the cost of marriage, and auditing my wife doesn’t make sense as long as it’s under control.”

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Money Doesn’t Talk

Who is online