An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

Discussion in 'Whatever' started by toothaction, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. zapatoloco

    zapatoloco Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    '' You want socks ? I'll sjhow you some fucking socks !''
     
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  2. quentor

    quentor Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I'm a teacher in the inner city, and I got a kid to understand irrational numbers. I told him Pi was the most famous irrational number because it never ended. I told him it couldn't be caught so they could never make a fraction out of him. Kid looks at me serious as could be and says,

    "Pi is a motherf--king G!"
     
  3. SaintOfSpinners

    SaintOfSpinners Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I passed three homeless guys last night. Mid 50's. Grizzled. Tough. One sat silent in the shadows like a gargoyle. The other two were having a lively conversation. I heard just this one line, "that sordid day of debauchery".

    How sordid does that debauchery get when you're living on the streets?
     
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  4. Headhunter

    Headhunter Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    *Little girl starts off the conversation* "Mommy why is there white and yellow popcorn?"

    *The Mother* "Well some ppl prefer yellow and some ppl prefer white."

    *Little girl in a whinny voice* "But mommmmm thats racist!"

    *The Irritated mother* "Quite! Ill have none of that here!"

    I honestly did not know how to respond to any of this so in my mind i was just like "WTF....."
     
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  5. sketchyhabits

    sketchyhabits Fresh Meat

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Me and my manager were talking about tattoos and he said growing up if someone had tattoos and they weren't in the military you asked,
    "so what trailer park are you from?"
     
  6. Waterbear

    Waterbear Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Her - Oh my god starbucks is going to sell zombie frapps for Halloween!

    Me - What the fuck is a zombie frapp?

    Her - It's going to be a green apple caramel slime frappuccino drink topped with pink whipped creme in the shape of brains! Like the unicorn one they did but spookier!

    Me - And it will be super limited so everyone mindlessly lines up to get one so they can take pictures with their Iphones and share them on social media with everyone else who lined up and took pictures with their Iphones to share on social media and you can all like and heart and comment and emoji each other with electronic props and kudos and congrats for mindlessly lining up to buy the same drink as everyone else before the giant corporation removes it from the menu because things only matter if they are hard to get right? Zombie drink indeed.

    Her - You ruin everything I love!

    Me - Stop loving such shitty stuff.
     
  7. Philpenn

    Philpenn Toy Prince

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Guy talking about his sneaker buying bot:

    "So I get them the day they drop, and then can sell them for 10x the price the next day. I don't even care about the shoes, or the money. I just like screwing Nike over".
     
  8. Waterbear

    Waterbear Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Wow. Isn't he just screwing shoe fans and helping Nike build hype?
     
  9. boon velvet

    boon velvet Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Marketing gimmick aside, it sounds delicious.

    Remember those Ghostbusters 2 promotional Slimer Sundaes at Hardees? I couldn't get enough of those things. Tho I think that was less about taste and more about me being into anything with slime. I wanted to grow up and be a mad scientist (thank you Mad Scientist toys for that).
     
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  10. Waterbear

    Waterbear Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

    No Hardees here so I missed out it seems.

    On the Slimer note I have been enjoying an ecto cooler every now and then since they started selling it again a few months ago. The cans change color when they are nice and frosty cold!
     
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  11. boon velvet

    boon velvet Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    You really didn't miss much, @waterbesr. I think it was just vanilla ice-cream drizzled with whatever flavor that slime was supposed to be. If you were a kiddo tho, you probably would have liked it, even if it was tasteless ;)

    Found a pic:
    [​IMG]

    I had no idea ecto coolers were back. Aaand now on the grocery list. I'll have to go for the cans then too. I only recall the juice boxes.
     
  12. Philpenn

    Philpenn Toy Prince

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Exactly. I'm not a sneaker guy, but do wonder If that's what the flippers of jawns I do collect also tell themselves.
     
  13. quentor

    quentor Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "One time I was on a plane and had to fart really bad, I was trying to hold it in, but then the plane took off and as we got higher and higher the fart became a burp and I burped instead of farted."
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2017
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  14. sketchyhabits

    sketchyhabits Fresh Meat

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    At work "They come for the booze, they stay for the dumpster fire!"
     
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  15. SaintOfSpinners

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Overheard regarding California coastal fires:

    "I don't understand why they can't just run a hose from the ocean. They have all that water right there."
     
  16. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    While in a supermarket....

    Husband- Which one should I get?
    Wife- I don’t care, I don’t drink that shit!!
    Husband picks out juice flavor he wants..
    Wife- Don’t get that one, why would get that one. Get this one.

    and they say we drive them nuts.
     
  17. eckotyper

    eckotyper Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Vegan Air Jordans was a good one last week.
     
  18. Waterbear

    Waterbear Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Lunch with a friend...

    Her - The only time I ever really stop and contemplate what I'm doing with my life is when Netflix pauses itself and asks if I'm still actually watching whatever I'm watching. I mean c'mon Netflix! I pay you to stop me from thinking about all my poor life decisions, not to remind me of them. If I'm 40 episodes deep into The X-Files that's my fucking business not yours!

    Me - Yeah but what if you fall asleep watching something? Isn't that the whole point of that thing? To keep you from losing your place in whatever show you're watching?

    Her - No one gives a fuck about what episode they are on! We are just binge watching old shows we've already seen because the familiarity distracts us from our empty lives. Then Netflix reminds us that we suck and I have to stop and pick up a book or respond to someone's text like a real person.

    Me - Wait... Is that why we're having lunch? Because Netflix hurt your feelings this morning so you decided to hang out with me and pretend you enjoy actual human contact?

    Her - Shut up! I'm on my xmas break. Stop judging me.

    Me - Are you sure you want to continue this conversation?

    Her - I hate you so much.
     
  19. FUREEK

    FUREEK Toy Prince

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "Maybe I like the attention, I'm a slut."
     
  20. jojo the dog faced boy

    jojo the dog faced boy Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    As a nice follow to the above,
    "I think this customer is getting double banged."
     
  21. hellointerloper

    hellointerloper Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Woman looking at a mall kiosk selling virtual reality headsets: "Oh, it's one of those 'natural reality' things."

    -twitch-
     
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  22. eckotyper

    eckotyper Post Pimp

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    customer: That mofo silverado yall sold me was a v8, that shit go. ya'll didnt know it was a v8? it got 16 spark plug wires.

    me: cool story bro... 16 spark plugs lol.
     
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  23. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "Those french fries taste so... french fry-ey! Wonderful!"
     
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  24. @hopelesstoys

    @hopelesstoys Fresh Meat

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Them Internet's ain't working again, wat chew do to it? - via Boerne Texas

    @ tech support call center
     
  25. Lttr Prssd

    Lttr Prssd Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I've said this before. What's the problem!? 8)
     

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