An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

Discussion in 'Whatever' started by toothaction, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. Purple Bat

    Purple Bat Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    A coworker was overheard 'explaining' the origin of the idiom "watered down":

    He seriously believes that back in ye olde days that the average town had walk-on scales of a size to accomodate cattle? and that is just one thing that I can think of that is wrong with that reasoning. WTF?!
     
  2. The Moog

    The Moog Die-Cast

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    :lol:

    I was reading two-star Amazon reviews of an Autobiography.
    Some idiots review:

    Too much me.me.me.
     
  3. toothaction

    toothaction Team Tsubu Staff Member

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    "I'm not smarter than you, I just use my brain for weirder stuff."
     
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  4. DoctorMafune

    DoctorMafune Fresh Meat

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Shopping mall parking lot: at a distance of about 20 yards, my wife and I saw the sweet young blonde we know from the fitness center, and I waved at her.

    She did a double-take, finally recognized us, and then smiled and waved. Over the parking lot traffic, she yelled, "Sorry! I'm just not used to seeing you both with your clothes on!!!"

    A co-worker walked by me with a wink, a grin, and a thumbs-up.
     
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  5. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Me pushing my cart out into the aisle in a supermarket, didn’t see older gentleman, I stop short...

    OG- mumblemumblemubledirtylook
    Me- sorry
    OG- mumblemumblekeepswalking
    Me- but did you die?
     
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  6. Waterbear

    Waterbear Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Having lunch at the very crowded vegan burger place inside of Whole Foods.

    Tiny little girl as pale as snow with giant dreadlocks sitting across from me...

    Her - "This burger is fucking gross! It tastes way too much like meat!"
    Me - Isn't that the point of eating a vegan burger though? Because it tastes like meat?
    Her - No! We want it to look like meat but taste like vegetables and beans.
    Girl next to her - Who the fuck is we? I eat here because I miss meat. If I wanted to taste vegetables I wouldn't be paying $15.95 for this fucking thing when a real burger costs $3 bucks. .
     
  7. SaintOfSpinners

    SaintOfSpinners Line of Credit

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    I keep reading peoples quotes on threads that I shouldn't, like this...

    "Even though humans are living things (living breathing organisms) Humans are not animals! Fact! Period! "

    Besides the main thought (rejection of thought) I love that period gets an exclamation point.
     
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  8. useless toys

    useless toys Side Dealer

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread

    Hahahahahahaha.

    Fucking white people with dreads.

    @Waterbear did she smell like patchouli?
     
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  9. Waterbear

    Waterbear Comment King

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    Weed is totally legal here so everything within 10 miles of the University just smells like a skunk. Which is actually preferable to how all these pseudo hippies smelled before weed was legal.
     
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  10. noeleaser

    noeleaser Addicted

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    An Actual Sentence Spoken To (Or Near) Me Today Thread
    In Denver we call them trustafarians..
     
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